August 30, 2010 

Okay, I lied.  I know, not very pastor-like.  But I wanted to draw your attention to a few really important questions you may have about “Life Groups”.

Are “home groups”, “small groups”, and “Life Groups” different things?

Not really.  We are talking about small groups that typically meet in homes so in the past we have, in fact, referred to them as small groups and home groups.  However, those titles did not really convey the purpose of gathering together which is to experience and share “life” in an environment that is relevant, authentic and safe.

I come to church every Sunday.  Why do I need to be involved in a Life Group?

Jesus chose a “life group” as the mechanism to create community, unity and maturity in the lives of 12 men whom He loved.  This would be more than “sitting in church” listening to the ultimate Pastor; good as that was (and it was good!), it simply was not enough.  Instead, together they were going to experience and talk about life, learning real answers to real questions as they shared with each other and with Jesus.  Jesus understood that there is just something about a small circle, with good people in it who want to go deeper, that cannot be replicated in any other way.  Nothing has changed in 2000 years.

Pastor Dale talked about recently training 50 leaders.  Why do we need so many new groups?

As we look at the “small group model” of Jesus, we see Him initially inviting two or three men to join Him but eventually growing (and capping) that number to 12.  Jesus was obviously really smart about the dynamics of interpersonal relationships; He included a variety of personalities for interest and balance but limited the size to ensure intimacy.  So assuming this is a good model to emulate, let’s do the math:  600 attending adults divided by an average 12 adults per group equals….wow, 50 groups!

Why the big push for the “Life Group Open House” on September 12th?

Simply because there is such a big difference between looking at a restaurant menu and actually seeing the food; or between seeing the musical notes on sheet music and actually hearing the song.  The evening of Sunday, September 12th, will be an opportunity to “smell the food” and “hear the music” as you are afforded an opportunity to actually meet the Life Group hosts and facilitators in person and select a group that is just right for you.

I am already active in a small group (oops, I mean Life Group). Do I need to attend on September 12th?

Technically, no.  If you are in a Life Group already, you should plan on just staying in that group.  Our desire is not to redistribute the people that are presently active in groups but to supply brand new groups, starting with two or three core couples, as opportunities for the many folks who are not presently in a group.  However, we definitely want to invite you to attend that evening and work the room as encouragers, sharing with people what your small group (nuts…Life Group!) has meant to you.

Debbie and I have been active home group, small group, life group members and leaders for our entire married life (38 years).  Those groups have made all the difference in our individual faith journeys and our marriage.  I hope everyone in our church gets connected in a Life Group.

August 16, 2010 

Allow me to share something I learned this week. It really wasn’t new but actually more of a finely tuned and pointed summary of what I already believe and teach.

I consistently tell folks, wherever I might be teaching, that marriage is not primarily about the relationship between a man and a woman, which is a teaching of the world. Instead, marriage is primarily a reflection of a man’s relationship with God, and a woman’s relationship with God, both of which simply play out and are demonstrated in a marriage. Hence, truly healthy marriages are reflections of two people who are connected to God; unhealthy marriages reveal folks who have little true spiritual connection.

So I am listening to a sermon on CD and the speaker (Dave Harvey) says the following things:

"Sound doctrine is essential for healthy Christian marriages....especially the doctrine of sin. Marriage problems are invariably problems with sin."

Excellent! He continued to expand those thoughts but here is the bottom line in my words: Unless married Christians are willing to focus on and deal with their own personal sin (instead of blaming their partner for everything) through confession to God and mate, repentance, and asking forgiveness of God and mate, their marriage can never be healthy. Until we quit justifying and minimizing our behaviors and words and instead call them what they are....sin....the destructive and unhealthy cycles will simply continue in our marriages. Marriage is incredibly effective at exposing my sin. Choosing what to do at that point makes all the difference. Until I hate sin in my life, I will be ineffective in loving my wife.

Is this just a principle solely for marriages?  Absolutely not!  I think it is intriguing to see that virtually every illustration or principle presented in the context of marriage has an application in a broader sense.  For example, the need to acknowledge and deal with sin in my own personal life instead of primarily blaming or trying to change another person is relevant to any relationship, be it family, friends, co-workers, boss....church people. 

Whew! May you be as convicted by this as I was....so we can grow together!